Kommentare von Usern auf der Facebook-Seite von After Narcissistic Abuse - There is Light, Life & Love

auf die Frage, wie die Facebook-Mitglieder mit einfachen Worten das Wesen eines Narzissten beschreiben würden:

 

What is your SIMPLE explanation of narcissistic abuse? Formularbeginn

 

An ingrained compulsion to lie and to manipulate and exploit others, as a result of a debilitating and unrealistic sense of shame, a desperate need for ego gratification, and an undeveloped sense of empathy and conscience.

It's all about them, sheltering them, coddlign them, praising them and never allowing them to be dissapointed, sad or know that what they are doing is wrong.

You are their world... It's too good to be true and in warp speed.
You begin to see the cracks...
Lack of empathy, dishonesty, lack of remorse and lack of conscience.
You question what you see and intuitively sense...
Words do not align with actions.
Then begins the devaluing stage, where the one whom you love is destroying your reputation without your knowledge with family and friends that can be fooled by his convincing stories.
You begin to ask him for the truth and intimacy necessary for an authentic loving relationship.
He distances, tells more untruths to fuel his victimhood, is unfaithful-likely many times. You are treated as if you have no value and do not exist. He will enlist other's to lie for him, even his own children (your children).
You stand and set boundaries to preserve yourself and the relationship, but any attempt at boundaries is not respected, and you become the enemy whom he will make pay again and again.

No amount of kindness, love, truth, patience or therapy will help.

bait and switch scheme!
The most horrific experience of my life. I'm beginning to speak about it to escape the stresses of anxiety and fear. I am strong.

insidious soul sucking vampire

Controlling Parasitic liars

A silent soul-killer

Nothing is SIMPLE when it comes to a NARC.

Heartless...no empathy or conscience. Unfaithful, chronically dishonest and unfaithful. Mean spirited and selfish to the core. Good is only done take them look good. Unable to feel compassion or love...

They have to be happy all the time. Think that they are right all the time. If you don't allow them this, then it's all your fault. LOL in their eyes anyway! Lived this. Nothing I did was right. He was always right and me? ALWAYS wrong!! He was NEVER going to be happy with me. I' wasn't one to bow down to him. And no WAY would I allow him to treat me this way. I went a short time where I was really depressed and unhappy. When you constantly hear YOU are wrong, you do wonder. BUT no more. It didn't take me long to realize that nothing I did would make him happy, so why bother? I lived for my children and for myself. So what if he wasn't happy? He was always blaming us for everything. WE could do not right. Not even his kids brought him joy, but he found fault with EVERYTHING they did too! Took too long to walk away, but I did!! And now I know.

Self centered to the extreme, severely abused therefore severely abusive.

a cunning, venomous snake.
 

Terrorist like. They will stop at nothing to keep there sense of false self real. Their "cause" becomes their very existence and this make them dangerous.

thank g*d i escaped with my life and sanity...worst nightmare ever in my life

Wolf is Sheep's clothing.

Lies.

Gaslighting.

guess it all makes sense now, as to why I felt empty, void, and vacant. It's as tho another "became me and my life,"...and took everything of any value away from me. As I've heard it said, "....and we took from others to fill up what was lacking inside of ourselves. As we cried with outstretched arms, 'connect with me and make me whole. Confront me wit my self, the self I'm running from, in a way that I can accept.' And the healing begins."

Insult others to.make themselves feel better

They don't feel emotion like most other people. Therefore they push you to act FOR them.

Dead inside. Many have been abused as children and the pain is so unbearable that they cannot feel empathy or remorse for their bad behavior Ever. To do so would have the same effect as a vampire Meeting the Sun. They openly admit their childhoods to gain your sympathy and drag you in to their grim saga. DO NOT FEEL SORRY. RUN

Emotional vampire

Never being worthy enough to suit that someone. Always having to do more and take more and allow your spirit to be sucked from you by this someone in order to stay in their good graces. It's always, what have you done for me lately, No thank you.

A thief who steals the truth, trust, respect, acknowledgment, love, faithfulness, support, money, emotional and physical needs away from those around them to selfishly supply there own ego at the cost of someone else. They are happy in their tiereny and will never change. If exposed they will destroy those who have "betrayed" him/her with a vengence.

It's easy for a N to make you question yourself but a simple "explanation"... they have no empathy for anyone not even their own children. It's all about them and because they are usually very intelligent they will never accept that anything they did was wrong... they make it all your fault. Don't be sucked into it. Stay away from those who don't get along with their own family, blame their ex & family for the last break up and run from jobs and responsibility..all signs of a N!

A set of defense mechanisms developed from being raised by an powerful tyrant who abused them to the point it killed their soul. They think they are protecting themselves in one sense, and also they are just not able to be aware of the pain and suffering and chaos they inflict, and not able to understand and care when you point it out to them.

empty, lost, and vapid....a shell...no ones home...

Turns every conversation into a conversation about them. Will not allow anyone else any opinions or recognise their emotions. Bigoted, zero compassion, grandiose attitude of self importance. But prince charming in public act. The vile narc act only comes out behind closed doors. So it is hard to get people to listen and believe that u have been abused

The angelic presentation of everything you desired within a relationship, with your focus entirely upon the person holding the mirror as they live on the focus of your attention. When you realize the relationship is not a reciprocal and the spell begins to wear thin, you realize your isolation from family and friends, and yet you are unaware of the justification they have created with secret lies to family and friends as they punch you through the glass, relentlessly attacking you when your down, projecting onto you the evil in their heart and soul as they are devoid of any emotional connection in their desperation to keep anyone from seeing the person who really lives behind the mask. They ostracize you, and you realize it is because you now know who and what they really are......the truth is they suffer from a personality disorder and are simply sick people who play in the fire of your emotions, have zero expectations from them and you will no longer be disappointed by their actions.....forgive, love yourself, give unconditional love them and let them go, and be happier for having survived and learned about these people.....and quit being a "fixer" for those who prey upon our emotions....fix yourself and love those that have done the same.

Everyone else is a mere extension of themselves. Everyone else is expendable even if they are family members, friends or someone who loved them unconditionally.

Yes Kristina my father the narc has never shown me any empathy. Never shown any love or affection. No compassion. Just treated like a robot he tried to programme. I have low contact now and he has zero power over me now

Simply put I would say a Narc is a cold controlling bully, a control freak

A grim reaper of the soul & of a sound mind ... leaving us as empty shells void of any life.

Evil!!!

Wow Julie Snelling! Perfectly defined! Many blessings and healing to you!!!

An unfeeling, heartless and cold slimy snake slithering!

At first I was like , then I was like

simply,,, love of self over all others,,, this defines them.

Delusional.

a lack of empathy thats why they are attracted to empaths xxx

Reading the posts back. That is exactly how I felt, my soul had been destroyed

Mental Illness.

control

cold to the core plus all of the above.

Condemning a child to never feel worthy of love, andthen forever striving to earn love and acceptance. That child then growing up to feel responsible for everybody else's unhappiness and problems because when a relationship hits a problem, of course it must be their fault - after all - and constantly feeling guilt and blame!!!

love the identity theft and soul rape!! Very accurate ad powerful words!!!

@Imani- my grandmother favored my aunt over my mom. She would put her in the basement all day Saturdays so she didn't have to deal with her. My aunt, who was 7 yrs younger, would make my mom sandwiches and shove them under the basement door so my mom wouldn't starve all day. She damaged my mom in ways I will always feel because my mom is the N.

@sabrina...he told me, "when i was young, my father took me into the backyard, pointed to a spot, and said...if you ever disrespect me, i will bury you here, and make another one prettier than you" he thought this was a wonderful thing his father said to him...btw..his father died of alcholism...the narc is a druggie and alchy too..his mother a pathological liar, manipulator..she has crippled all of he children...they are all wacked!!!!

Hmmm....

A spiritually empty vessel.

Candycoated sadism

Denial of reality to justify irrational, cruel, abusive behavior by any means necessary...cognitive dissonance, projection, perverse inappropriate reactions, ANYTHING to put the blame on YOU! Nothing is his fault because YOU deserved it for failing to worship and adore him without question!

it is everything love is not.

Being placed on a very high pedestal and before you know it, that pedestal is yanked right out from underneath you and you are treated like you are a contaminated piece of garbage; discarded and ignored. Being left feeling worthless and very depressed.
Basically, it is being idealized, devalued and discarded.

Con.

Assaulting your psyche with their own warped projections and negative definitions - a slow insidious diminishing of your very core, your essence, your truth and your spirit.

This statement is so true. If you can break it down you get it and you can teach it!!

Tragic.

Joy sucker

Limpits

blood suckers

or you're not a man...lol.. I'm a woman and I noticed for women we use many more words to explain

they are simply Hell on earth.

wow...all these years growing up around someone like this..it is almost a painted picture of him!!!! Unfortuately the world does not see what I experienced. thank u for posting

Love it, Tonya! That's it in a nutshell - I can't put it any better!

I hate Einstein. He was a narcissist and an adulterer.

since learning about sociopaths and narc I view the world differently and anyone that our society puts on a pedestal I question if that person is one....even Einstein in the past so glad you posted your comment.....I just did a search on him by googling "einstein cheated" and this is part of what I found on him...I believe he was a sociopath/narc..... Einstein's women
"......Einstein may not have cheated Mileva of her intellectual rights, but he was still far from the ideal husband. A year before they married, Maric gave birth to a daughter, Lieserl, while Einstein was away. The child's fate is unknown – she is presumed to have been given up for adoption, perhaps under pressure from Einstein, who is thought to have never seen his first born.

After the marriage, Mileva bore two sons but the family was not to stay together. Einstein began an affair with his cousin Elsa Lowenthal while on a trip to Berlin in 1912, leaving Mileva and his family two years later.

Einstein and Mileva finally divorced in 1919, but not until after Einstein sent his wife a list of 'conditions' under which he was willing to remain married. The list included such autocratic demands as "You are neither to expect intimacy nor to reproach me in any way". After the divorce, he saw little of his sons. The elder, Hans Albert, later reflected: "Probably the only project he ever gave up on was me." The younger, Eduard, was diagnosed with schizophrenia and died in an asylum.

Einstein married Elsa soon after the divorce, but a few years later began an affair with Betty Neumann, the niece of a friend. By one account, Elsa allowed Einstein to carry on with this affair to prevent him sneaking around. That relationship ended in 1924, but Einstein continued to have liaisons with other women until well after Elsa's death in 1936. He didn't remarry", Teddy Roosevelt is the same too his wife wanted a divorce and he refused to give her one but continued to cheat on her now look how the history books portray him = as a great man and president which in my book if you treat your wife and family horribly you are not.